Your Inner Voice

Well I am trully one lucky Mother. I generally consider myself to be a safety conscience Mum who is always one step ahead of my two little boys (i know that statement is a little imaginary as how can we be?) but anyway in my mind I'm there. So I am not sure what made me ignore a screaming voice in my head today. The boys and I met with a friend of ours and her 3 year old at a cafe just off the beach that our husbands were surfing at. I met another couple (friends of my friend) who had two little boys (3yrs and 7 months) We sat down and us girls started chatting up a storm. The husband then went to go for a walk with his son and my two boys and my friends little girl decided to join them. I know the husband knew he had all 4 kids as they eagerly pushed their way through to the front. About 5 mins later he returned with his son and my eldest D trailing behind. Mmmm My friend and I both noted the absence our two children. I asked 'Is E not with you?" to which he shrugged his shoulders and replied "No". He then preceded to sit down and start chatting with the others. I looked at him as to question whether he had any idea of where the other two kids were but just decided I'd go get them myself. I quickly found my friends little girl who had fallen down as was crying and continued on the path I figured they went to return to the cafe. No E to be found. My heart raced a little and panic seemed to be brewing. I came back to our table and asked "Has E come back?" No No and the Dad just sat there and did nothing. I went back over the mound to the brush they had wandered off into and walked a little further in. E could have been anywhere, the grass was a tall as he is and quite thick in parts off the little tracks. I hurried along the base of a huge sand hill heading to the beach, I asked two Mums whether they had seen E, no they hadn't so I back tracked knowing he wasn't off to the beach, went further forward and that's when panic set in. He could have gone anywhere. Straight ahead was more of the same scrub and just seemed to go on and on and to my left the carpark. I headed left toward the carpark and then reached it, still no E. My mind wandered. Shit I have lost my son. I have no idea where he is and its now been about 10 mins since I saw him last. I rushed back along the edge of the carpark and the look on my face must have been good because my friend jumped up ready to rally the troups (she is 9 1/2 months pregnant but much more agile and alert to the problem than 'Dickhead Dad' who is still sitting there thinking... "Who knows! but it obviously wasn't about the missing child" Anyway just as we were about the tell the crowd, E appeared behind a car on the other side of the carpark. Two wonderful ladies had found him and were ushering him back to the cafe in hopes of finding his incompetent and terrible Mum. He had walked around the very large carpark (rabbit warren in appearance) and somehow was making his way back when rescued by responsible mums. Although I still wonder how 'Thank-goodness-he-is-not-my-childrens-Dad' Dad could not only misplace two kids (out of four) but then had no intent to even help in locating them. Although I do have issues with him, I really blame myself for letting a little adult conversation hush the voice in my head that said " Go with them". Today I got lucky but just wanted to let you know that when it comes to your kids, having a conversation with yourself doesn't mean your nuts, just a switched on and caring Mother.