Monday, July 28, 2008

An Open Letter to the Contractor Building the Spec House Next Door to Us

Dear Contractor,

There are a few items that I would like to address before you go and start building another house in an already established neighborhood.

Item #1: If you are building it as a spec house, be a man and say so. Do not say you are not sure what you are going to do with the house, maybe you will "live in it or maybe sell it." If you are only going to live in it when you cannot sell it, then say so.

Item#2: When you ask me to borrow our water to wet down the dirt so that it does not blow all over while putting in the footings for the house, please explain that this is not a one time deal and that you are going to show all the subs the water spigot on the side of my house to be used for the ENTIRE job.

Item #3: When you say that you are going to pay me for said water, please do so without having to be reminded. But also, do not think that I will not remind you, so don't be surprised when asked to cough up the cash.

Item #4: When showing subcontractor's the water spigot for all to use, please point out to them that the wall that it comes out of is the wall between them and my childrens' rooms. So, if they could please not let the gate SLAM as they go in and out multiple times a day, I would appreciate it. Because, as you know since you have a toddler as well, that when the subcontractors are done for the day (3:00pm), it is during naptime.

Which brings me to...

Item #5: It is obvious that you have some friends doing some work for you. I know this because some of the work does not start until late afternoon. So, why does it have to be just about everyday when nothing is happening to the house, all day, that at 3:00pm your buddies show up to start tractoring and 3:00pm...during naptime. I am sure if this house was being built next to your house, your wife would want to lose her mind.

Item #6: Before you move the port-a-potty onto my property, at least ask first. I understand that your gas line needs to go in, because the sooner stuff gets done, the sooner you will go away. But think about it, wouldn't you be a lot LESS pissed off if you had at least been asked first and agreed to it?

Item #7: When you say that you are going to move the port-a-potty today (because we asked you to - two weeks later) then, could you please actually do it. It is now two days after you said you would move it and it is still on my property. One more day and I am going to call them to come and pick it is on my property after all. Yes, I mean tomorrow, Tuesday, the 29th.

Item #8: I am pretty sure you hate coming to my door to ask me things (which is why you did not ask me about the port-a-potty). But you did come to my door to ask to borrow the hose (more water related borrowing) blaming it on the subs with promises to return the hose. Well it did not get returned and EO had to go over there to get it so that we could use it. Our own hose. I am sure you can imagine the answer the next time you ask to borrow something.

Item #9: If you have to dig up some of our plants that are close to the property line, again asking or letting me know would be the thing to do. Especially since I had already asked you if our plants were going to get trampled and I am sure you can remember what your answer was to that.

Item #10: Please be considerate of all the crap we have to put up with on our narrow little street while you are building this house. Put yourself in our shoes. We have to wait for you to move the tractors so we can drive down the street to get to town as you are at the beginning of the only outlet. We have to deal with the torn up road and the big metal squares covering up the huge holes in our is with a little dread that I wait to see how this will be remedied. With respect to this item, I am not sure what exactly happened the day that you hooked up the water and the gas lines, but from what I could tell it seemed as if you were going to leave on a Friday night with out making the street very drivable for those of us who live on it...for the entire weekend (i.e., beers were being consumed, the tractors were parked in their usual overnight spots and the mood was jovial). I witnessed some sort of an altercation with my neighbor from across the street...she was yelling, hands flying in the air. I admit, I tried to listen but sometimes my kids make it hard to eavesdrop. All I know is that one of your buddies went over to talk to her and that later the cops showed up. And then you and your buddies worked until past 8:30pm that night to fix the road up so it was drivable. Thank you for that.

Item #11: I am sure by the above referenced items that you can understand why I fully expect some sort of fruit basket or "thank you for not riding my ass the whole job" gift, because frankly, I am sure that my husband would have been happier had I bugged you about everything other than him. And in case you need some thank you gift ideas, I enjoy gift certificates for high-end stores, coffee, massages and furniture - with triple digit amounts on them.

The only good part about the house being built next door (after the lot had sat empty for 50 years and there was no action on it until you decided to build a spec house in the worst market possible probably only because we live in the house next door, but I digress) is that good friends of ours have purchased it. So, while we do have to put up with the construction and the BS, we know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And we know that we will not get stuck with some crappy neighbors who are even more annoying at 3:00pm (or 3:00am) while my children are trying to sleep.


AS said...

OMG!! You crack me up! I'm sure you didn't intend to crack anyone up but I'm laughing. If I was next to you, however I would not be laughing. But being 400 miles away from your pissed off-ness, and your pissed off-ness not directed at me at all....I'm laughing! The kids can come down here and stay with me!! After my houseguests you're laughing!

jessica j said...

wow. there's a reason "patience" is not a category on my blog. i admire your considerable equanimity in a horrible situation.

Ms Picket To You said...

just found you. glad i did.

also: wish I had this about 4 years ago.

big time.